‘Tis the season of gatherings and gifts. Amidst pervasive consumer propaganda and busy schedules, it’s easy to forget the most precious gift in the universe: our loving attention. Below I’ve excerpted a passage from Thay’s book, True Love, on the practice of spending quality time with loved ones. Shared smiles, warm hugs and honest conversations will remain with us always, long after stylish sweaters and interesting gadgets are discarded.

“To love, in the context of Buddhism, is above all to be there. But being there is not an easy thing. Some training is necessary, some practice. If you are not there, how can you love? Being there is very much an art, the art of meditation, because meditating is bringing your true presence to the here and now. The question that arises is: Do you have time to love?

I know a boy of twelve whose father asked him one day: ‘Son, what would you like for your birthday present?’ The boy did not know how to answer his father, who was a very rich man, able to buy anything for his son. But the boy did not want anything except his father's presence. Because the role the father played kept him very busy, he did not have time to devote to his wife and children. Being rich is an obstacle to loving. When you are rich, you want to continue to be rich, and so you end up devoting all your time, all your energy in your daily life, to staying rich. If this father were to understand what true love is, he would do whatever is necessary to find time for his son and his wife.

The most precious gift you can give to the one you love is your true presence. What must we do to really be there? Those who have practiced Buddhist meditation know that meditating is above all being present: to yourself, to those you love, to life.

So I would propose a very simple practice to you, the practice of mindful breathing: ‘Breathing in --I know that I am breathing in; breathing out--I know that I am breathing out.’ If you do that with a little concentration, then you will be able to really be there, because in our daily life our mind and our body are rarely together. Our body might be there, but our mind is somewhere else. Maybe you are lost in regrets about the past, maybe in worries about the future, or else you are preoccupied with your plans, with anger or with jealousy. And so your mind is not really there with your body.

Between the mind and the body, there is something that can serve as a bridge. The moment you begin to practice mindful breathing, your body and your mind begin to come together with one another. It takes only 10 to 20 seconds to accomplish this miracle called oneness of body and mind. With mindful breathing, you can bring body and mind together in the present moment, and every one of us can do it, even a child."

The recent tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut is a great reminder to us that our true presence with loved ones is the greatest gift of all.  Life is full of unpredictable events. By being mindful and present with our loved ones, we can give and receive love and appreciation for each other. These mindful memories will remain with us forever, offering much joy whenever we retrieve them. 

Other Blog's You'll Love: 

Cultivate Love & Gratitude: Meditation. Inspiration.
Winter Onederland -- A Poem.
Renew & Restore: Tips to finish the holiday season strong. 

Photo by Aunt Owwee